Chapter 5: Seaside Holiday Trip
Within a week of the experiment, I had become confident enough in our abilities to attempt a long-distance jumpage. To be truthful I felt ready the day after, but we still had a job that took priority back then, what a joke. If we could just iron out all the wrinkles and perfect jumping, well damn, it would be absolutely ideal, innit. I could go anywhere I wanted, whenever I wanted. Within reason of course, couldn’t exactly just tell my auditor to swivel on it and disappear mid-job for example. Well, I mean physically I could, but it would just cause problems, would be satisfying though.
Right, getting back on track, the maiden voyage was on the 12th of October 2019. I chose a Saturday just in case something went wrong, it would give me enough time to get home via a train (or something equally as expensive) before work on Monday. We could have gone anywhere, maybe a nice little visit to that space museum we had always wanted to visit, or perhaps spend the day in that man-made cave near London, canny remember the name of it, the world was our metaphorical oyster. After much consideration we came to our decision, the destination would be Brixham in Devon. To be honest it was always going to be Brixham, I just wanted to give the other places a fair trial, it was a kangaroo court however. I needed to smell the salt water, feel the sea wind hit my face (not too hard), and basically, I just felt like a day at the seaside. If you have a problem with that, well, there isn’t much you can do about it really.
The plan was just to have a quick jaunt there to make sure I could actually do it, perhaps take a photo or two, then bounce back home all smooth like. After all, I had a big juicy steak in the fridge with my name on it that needed to disappear pretty sharpish. I looked up what the weather was like there, and considering that it was October, it wasn’t actually half bad, some drizzly wind, and even some sunshine at points. I didn’t want to risk it though, the amount of times I had believed the weather presenter when they said there would only be a slight breeze, but it turned out trees were being uprooted is ridiculous. Just to be sure, I went online to scout ahead utilising one of those live cameras that had been installed around the harbour area recently. After a bit of buffering we saw drizzle and people wrapped up warm, shockingly the weather people were correct, it was getting close to winter after all.
I dressed accordingly, our best thick clothing. That brown jumper we used to wear whenever it were cold out, plus one of the many black woolly hats I kept buying, even grabbed the spare umbrella to keep dry. Believe you me, our ears get cold way too fast and damn do they hurt when it is freezing out, you get headaches from it if outside for too long. Last thing I wanted was a damn headache on our little excursion. Also, I forgot to mention before, in the apartment we had an aquarium with three gold fish, 120 litres I think, it was housed in the disused chimney base. From what I recall it fitted in there quite snugly. Anyways, I gave them one of those weekend food cube things on the off chance it took me a few days to get back home.
I stood in the middle of the lounge and prepared myself as best I could, during the last week I had been teleporting slowly further and further away. We had even been able to get that lurching-pull feeling down a tad bit, it felt less like being thrown out of a catapult now, so that was a bonus. I had jumped as far as the next town over, that was about 13 miles away in a straight line. Brixham, on the other hand, was 10-15 times that, distance wise. I had no idea how much the additional distance would take out of me. Maybe the extra few hundred miles would tire me out so much that as soon as we landed I would collapse from exhaustion in the middle of the street and look like a homeless beggar. Perhaps my body would give up halfway and I would get stuck in Dorset or something.
Yet again my mind raced and conjured up all the possible outcomes, as per usual it would focus on the worst of the worst scenarios. I was eventually able to calm myself down enough to concentrate without the distracting thoughts of what might go wrong. We slowed time and began focusing in on the scenery at the end of the breakwater, hoping that the area would be deserted that time of day. When I look back at it now, the whole worrying about everything part, it seems so cute in a way. Well, more embarrassing really, seems so silly considering how far we have come and everything we’ve done. I mean, past us would be truly horrified by some of the stuff we’ve done, swings and roundabouts really.
Anywho, to my surprise it did not take that long at all to get the usual tingling sensation as the lounge started to fade away and the breakwater was superimposed over it, like a bukkake party. As soon as I could clearly make out the Brixham side, we did a quick 360-degree spin to make sure nothing was obstructing us, or that we were visible to anyone who happened to be down there. It was clear, so I let the jump finish without performing any mid-air highly skilled acrobatics.
I gave myself a quick frisk all over, nothing missing thankfully, not even my middle finger, which by the way is our most important digit. I remember laughing, we were really there, I was so happy with myself for actually having the balls to even attempt it. We made our way down the pathway toward town as it started to drizzle a tiny bit. I eyed up the ugly cement extension bolted on to the side of the breakwater as we went, it had decommissioned years ago and was in the process of being demolished, I never did find out what it was meant to be, oh well. I was flabbergasted, not just by the fact that we had jumped successfully, but also the relatively simplicity of the whole thing, it was as easy as crossing an empty road.
I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, smelt the fresh air, and let the gentle pitter-patter of rain run down my face. It sure beat the pollution that came from living next to a busy road and industrial estate. I opened moi eyes and saw some seagulls flying over, fighting over some morsel of food. A loud horn caught my attention, a boat was floating past as it left the harbour, it was at that moment that I realised that I wasn’t tired at all. I was expecting such a long trip to tire me out, but thank the sweet Lord I was absolutely fine, twas a bit peckish though. To be fair our breakfast had consisted of a slice of bread with chocolate spread on it. Not exactly the most filling, nor nutritious, meal.
Now, I cannot stress this enough: until we had discovered our powers I had never done anything even remotely exciting, getting on to a plane was even a wee tad bit much. Up until that point, we had led a very sheltered and predictably safe life. So, from dead boring to jumping in at the deep end, it truly was exhilarating. Damn, that sure sounds sad when I read it back. Oh well, nuts to butts and all that.
Back to Devon, we swaggered to the base of the breakwater and along the path towards town, stopping ever minute or so just to take in the scenery. Admittedly, there wasn’t much going on at that point in time compared to during the summer season. I had only ever been there when the place was completely jampacked, it was refreshing to be able to look around and not see a mass of humans everywhere. I kept walking until I found myself outside one of the restaurants just off the harbour, and ordered a fish pie for brunch. God damn it was delicious, have you ever had fresh fish? The kind that had only been caught just a few hours ago off the shore. I mean of course you have, but I am just trying to make a point. Go back and have another one, you slimy shlag.
After such a filling meal, we continued our ramble around the harbour area. I was slowly getting damp despite the umbrella we had brought. I contemplated whether we even wanted to return home that day, it did not take long to convince myself to stay the night. We had received a rather tasty quarterly bonus in our payslip for September, so I decided to waste some of it by living it up in luxury, even if it was just for the one evening. The hotel we chose was up the hill, further along from the breakwater. It would have taken ages to walk there from the harbour, but bingo bango don’t you know it I could teleport, we landed just around the corner and waltzed straight into the reception area.
Once the receptionist noticed us, and we had swapped pleasantries, I asked for a sea view room with breakfast, pretty please. I can’t remember what the price was exactly, but it definitely ate up a good chunk of the extra dollar we had received. The staff were more than happy to accommodate my request, but the only problem was check-in wasn’t until 3pm, and we hadn’t even hit midday yet. So, I had a few hours to kill. I did what any normal tourist would do, I rocked out at some of the local shops and arcades that were back in town. Even had a quick cheeky tour of the caverns across the bay, there were only a few of us on the tour which was utterly brilliant. You really do love a good old cave, and abandoned mines for that matter, but that’s for later.
Before we knew it, 3pm had come and gone. I stampeded back to the hotel for check-in, collected the key, and we were shown to our room. It were right stunning like, especially when compared to the usual crapholes we used to stay at for work. I think it was the nicest place I had ever slept at until that point. Queen size bed, massive honking window with a cliff edge sea view, minibar, the works. It was dead lovely. After taking in the view from the window for a while, and having a nice relaxing bath (you always have to have a bath whilst away in a hotel to unwind) I had a quick looky online at what restaurants were nearby. Yes, we had only eaten a few hours back, but I was doing future research thank you very much.
Now, we could have gone anywhere we liked for a meal, maybe some swanky bistro in London, or some classic 50s themed diner in America, but I wanted to keep it local. Plus I had already used my bankcard in Brixham, might look a tad bit suspicious to suddenly be using it halfway across globe. We chose a steakhouse that was just across the bay, in Torquay I think, and somewhat unsurprisingly I ordered a steak in the steakhouse. Yes, there was one in the fridge back home, but I could always have it another day.
After a delicious meal I slowly waddled away into some dark alley, and then teleported down the road from the hotel. It was still an uphill battle; quite literally, it is bloody difficult walking up a steep road when you ate so much that your stomach is ready to pop. I retired back to our room for the night and fell asleep whilst watching television, some cheesy action flick.
I awoke around 7am, it took a good half hour to get out of le bed as it was just too comfortable. It was absolutely nothing like those budget hotels that slot two singles together and call it a double, always smell a bit funny those ones too. I went to the toilet and spent the next 30 minutes or so trying to wake up my reptilian mind by staring out at the sea from the big boy window. The waves gently lapping, collections of birds flying around ready to start a new day, even had a small flock of boats leaving the harbour every now and again. And yes, we did sleep very well, thank you for asking.
We eventually got dressed and headed down for brekky, full English like. Very scrummy lush, I retired back to el roomo afterward and just procrastinated, I wasn’t sure what to do with myself really. I spent another hour or so going between staring out at the sea again and playing on my phone. I guess I didn’t really want to go home; but eventually we got up and headed down to reception so we could hand the key in to leave. I walked around town once more for most of the day, taking in the scenery and buying random tat. Mostly it was just bits and bobs I knew I needed at home, but also a few little presents for le family, fridge magnets, nice smelly incense sticks, that kind of thing.
I trudged back to where we had originally landed, the mini lighthouse at the end of the breakwater, with my bags of goodies in tow, and began focusing in on home. I slowed time, it certainly took a while for that tingling sensation to manifest, it must have been my subconsciousness trying to cockblock our return home since we didn’t really want to go. Eventually though, it made an appearance, the sea view was replaced with the lounge, free of any obstructions, just as planned.
Mission accomplished, I had proven to myself just how easy the whole jumping malarkey really was. Whilst I was still a tad bit sad from having to go home (along with having work in the morning) just knowing that I could go wherever I wanted whenever (barring work) did help lift my spirits just a teeny tiny huge bit. I looked at el clock and realised that I really had spent most of the day lounging around by the sea. Instead of wasting any more time on cooking the steak, we heated a frozen mini pizza up in the good ol’ nuke machine and scoffed it right down. I sat down in front of the idiot box, waiting for the hours to whittle down before bedtime so I could be fresh as a daisy and ready for work in the morning.
Kind of stupid I know, worrying about work whilst I could teleport to anywhere in the world. Back then though we still had the ‘you have to work or you will become homeless’ mentality. We must have been really mentally deficient as a child, Christ.
