Prologue
Note to Self
Hello stranger, my name is Daniel Robert Carter and this is my, our, personal autobiography diary thingy. The million-dollar question is: why am I bothering to start this now, a few centuries after I really should have? Well, long story short we had a biological computer chip cemented into our brain some years back to help us become a real smarty pants. It kept us from forgetting anything, increased our comprehension of pretty much everything tenfold, and even narrowed our reaction time down without the need for coffee. In laymen’s terms, we became a super-duper God dang genius. One very slight (and completely insignificant) problem has now arisen though, the miracle memory processor is starting to crap the bed quicker than a diarrhetic toddler, and quite frankly I am no longer certain where our mind starts and the chip ends. I honestly do not know how much, or even what, we are going to lose when it finally gives up the ghost and that’s definitely not terrifying at all. It isn’t even like we can go back to the people who jerry-rigged it into position for some much-needed maintenance either since they no longer exist. Well, technically they never existed to begin with… but I am getting ahead of myself.
So yeah, I am now in the process of frantically recounting everything I can remember before it gets too muddled and potentially wiped for good so we, you, can relearn your history via a convenient collection of written books. So… welcome to the re-education of our vast and varied life. Well, I assume that you are reading this, I am working under the belief that we did not turn into a bumbling dribbling vegetable, so congrats if that is the case. That is unless of course our short-term memory is kaput as well, if that is what has happened then have fun reading the same paragraph over and over again for the rest of our sad pathetic little life. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention, we have the ability to teleport to anywhere and anywhen. Kind of an unimportant detail really, barely worth mentioning.
Addendum: In our attempts to document everything as hastily as possible we are using this cheap thought / speech to text gizmo. It does the best it can but it is a shoddy piece of crap, whenever I lose my train of thought it just starts spewing out utter garbage. I have to go back and constantly review everything that it has typed out, I apologise if there is a slight slip up here and there. Hugs and kisses xoxo
